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So random but Hey...

I promised myself after I post this, I will do my Isyak and sleep early.....cuz I can

Hey....
Genap 8 bulan you left us to pursue something better...I mean me. You left me. And start from that day we never missed communication. I love on what we stand right now. Nakal nakal saya, saya akan tunggu awak dan tak putus asa nak usik and curi hati awak *puke* *but insert heart emojis*

My life is a mess. To summarise what happend, the first week of last semester was great! *not being sarcastic or wtvr* genuinely happy* . They celebrate my birthday at Seoul Garden.

But here's the best part. October is a bitch. And November will turn one too....soon
Like last week, I had a called from Mom. She told me my father was admitted to the hospital because of Heart Attack. I cry and I cannot stop myself from being sad and being sad is not cool. Like you be a laughing gas to everyone and you cant make yourself happy.

So many task to do, deadline to catch. I dont know how my senior survived. And if I…

Si lampu jalanku

My Lord

I want him
I want him in my future
I need him to be in my future

I want to be the reason of " in every successful man, there's a woman behind them"
I want to be the reason of those happy tears from him
I want You to be the reason he wake up every morning just to see me

I want to turn grey together with him
I want to eat junk food with him on midnight because of my crazy craving
I want to be in some familiar city with him, having a night walk while holding hands

I want to spend my leisure time with him.
I want him to share everything with me. from football to workplace
I want him to want me as much as I want him :')

I want his love
I want to make him happy
I want him to be happy
I want the happiness together


A girl with black scarf everyday

Wahai empunya diri, sedarlah bahawa sesungguhnya engkau adalah manusia paling bertuah, bersyukur ok.

You have the the nice best girl friend in the entire world
Please, don't forget her
Please don't hate her
Please don't make her sad
Please don't try to forget her

When everyone stood up and leave you
She has been there for you like....7 years...
and keep this friendship forever-last...
One day, when you get married.
You'll be a good friend, your husband will be friend with her husband too
Your children and hers will be friend to each other.
You girls complete and support each other

When no one willing to hear your rambling and cannot stand with your nagging. She was there for you. Her mother knew you more than she knew any of her friends because you are the only friend that she had here. Your mother knew her too because you always tell nice things.
You love her for whole of your heart and you cannot change the fact that she is someone important in your life. Not bec…

Kita kenal ke?

Hi

awak mungkin kenal saya dengan nama penuh saya, dengan nama penuh bapa saya
kita mungkin pernah satu tadika, satu kelas, satu sekolah, satu rumah, satu universiti
kita mungkin satu taman, satu lorong, satu kampung, satu taman permainan, satu geng tat talilat tali tamplom, satu geng masak masak depan rumah guna daun pokok jiran
kita mungkin pernah berbalas senyuman, angguk geleng kepala
kita mungkin pernah beratur depan belakang, selisih jalan, terlanggar bahu, duduk bersebelahan,
kita mungkin benci sama benci, mungkin menangis untuk satu sama lain, salam berlaga pipi bila bertemu dan berpelukan bila berpisah, orang orang yang cakap belakang atau paling hampir buruk burukkan antara satu sama lain.
kita mungkin satu pendapat, satu minat, satu hobi, satu meja makan, satu cita cita
dan awak mungkin pernah jumpa blog saya, dan baca semua isi hati saya lalu tekan [X].
Awak anggap saya adalah seorang yang hopeless romantic atau hopeless in everything.

Hi
awak mungkin kenal saya dengan nam…

Plotwist

aku mampu semua
kereta
istana
permata

tapi belum hati kamu

kau ada semua
hati
sayang
cinta

tapi semua dari aku


"....sepuluh duapuluh atau hingga aku lumpuh
kita cuma bisa berkawan..."


bau parfum di kolar baju aku lebih tahu namun dia paut dahulu

bau helah nafas pudina
perisa favoritku
namun dia kau kucup dulu




dan aku sedar
cinta perlu dua
satu dan satu
biar
tekap
tepat
lengkap

seberapa banyak harapan aku genggam perlahan lahan....
aku cuba lepaskan....

sayang
cuma bukan untuk simpati
hati
bukan sekadar kenyang

,u12

L/P

"God...mahalnya nak amik lesen kereta, kalau orang miskin macam mana la dorang nak amik kan?"

Sementara tengah cecuci pinggan terfikir balik apa kawan aku cakap tadi. not my friend pun basically I consider as I knew her.

Why would you think that orang susah nak amik lesen kereta?

like....

Faham tak banyaaaak lagi like banyak lagi benda dorang nak fikir nak guna duit untuk apa dari bayar amik lesen kereta but dorang tak mampu pun nak beli kereta (?)

Faham tak logic nya disitu...

Faham tak...

dorang kena bayar sewa rumah/duit rumah
bil air bil api
baju anak sekolah
susu anak
malam ni nak makan apa
esok nak masak apa
cukup ke dak beras untuk bulan depan
kalau ada motor nak repair moto lagi
nak pikir harga minyak kejap naik kejap turun

nak nak yang berusaha survive living tenggelam timbul kat bandar 

Setakat amik lesen kereta tak pernah terlintas langsung (kot) dalam fikiran dorang
but to own a car yes.
Actually they are bold enough than us .


so....beryukur ok :)


,u12

the crowd and me

#RayakanSebulan so almost every weekends and tiap hari ada open house tapi...

tapi...

honestly aku bukan orang yang suka crowd (?)
ada la kengkawan sekolah duk jemput "guys rumah TUT buat open house..." "guys minggu ni aku buat open house" dan sebagainya...

aku... cam woah best giler dapat pergi! nak makan tu nak makan ni... yes! ok nak pakai baju apa, tudung nak matching apa blablabla... but bila difikirkan balik aku rasa aku punya skill of social aku lack gila. serius!.

contoh lah kalau aku pergi rumah si A ni, dahlah dia cuma sesama sekolah je dengan aku sekelas pun tidak, bercakap pun tidak. like aku ni siapa nak pergi menjengah ke rumah dia? apa aku nak borak dengan tetamu si A ni? katakanlah kalau tetamu dia semua bapak tak kena dengan personaliti aku?  and dorang pun like lain gila dengan aku? what would everyone think of me? a weirdo dugong trying to socialize with them? haaaa. pastu kang balik aku meroyan... padahal aku datang nak makan je! sumpah nak maka…